Things I never said before I had kids

You realize as a parent just how much is learned through life, and not just instinct. Things you or I would assume or take for granted as adults have to be explained to children. Some you expect. Some you prepare for. Others catch you completely off guard. Like this afternoon. My husband was brushing our standard poodle, and her ear was especially matted, like there was something sticky in it. After a while, my husband finally asked our 6 year old, "Did you put gum in Rory's fur?" Kiddo quickly said no, and then quietly followed up with "It was ketchup". So then followed the question we never thought we'd ask: "Why did you put ketchup in the dog's fur?" And the answer, of course, was the classic "I dunno".

Other things I never thought would leave my mouth:
-don't bite the wall
-stop hitting yourself in the head
-no, we don't pull our pants down in front of the class
-stop trying to put stuff down my shirt, it's not a pocket

What have you said that you never thought you'd ever have to say? Share them here!